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Civility Around The World – Blogathon

Guest Post: Embracing and Practicing Civility – Part I

By:  Dina H. Loomis, DTM, PDG, AICI FLC – Manila Philippines

“Good manners must be inspired by the good heart.  There is no beautifier of complexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Civility is - Respectful Conversation

Do you sometimes wonder where has all the kindness, caring and considerate behaviour gone?  Are you bothered by the lack of good manners, careless talk, and rudeness displayed by some of your co-employees and even managers?

Thank God for the following initiatives by: 1) Dr. P.M. Forni of Johns Hopkins University, who co-founded the Civility Project and wrote two blockbuster books, Choosing Civility-the Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct and The Civility Solution- What to do When People are Rude;  and 2) the Association of Image Consultants International (AICI), which adopted Dr. Forni’s Civility Code of Conduct and launched the Civility Counts Project in 2008 in order to spread civility worldwide through the Civility Ambassadors Program.

The People Management Association of the Philippines (PMAP) was one of the first organizations in the country to endorse AICI’s International Civility Awareness Month (May).  The PMAP Board, led by President Schubert Caesar “Bong” Austero, approved the resolution and signed our organization’s pledge to observe civility during the month of May.

During PMAP’s Strategic Planning held in July at the PMAP Center, the Good Governance Committee endorsed civility as one of the core competencies to be included in our organization’s good governance proposal to Congress.  Now, that’s what I call commitment.

The essence of civility can be expressed in one simple sentence, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.”—which is the golden rule.

Dr. Forni’s civility code of conduct is based on the three R’s: Respect, Restraint, and Responsibility.  The world needs it now more than ever, because of all the rudeness going on around us.

Civility is - The Absence of Self Control

What actually causes rudeness? The results of a survey sponsored by Johns Hopkins University revealed that there are three basic reasons why people behave rudely:

  1. Stress – The demands on our time and attention have become overwhelming for most of us, and make us feel trapped. When more demands are placed on us,  we tend to become short-tempered.
  2. Unhappiness – Most people managers might not realize that each employee comes to work with his or her personal concerns.  When emotions are involved, it becomes very difficult for people to stay calm.  Even an innocent remark can trigger a rude reaction from a troubled individual.
  3. Feeling Rushed – Deadlines, changing schedules, and demands from bosses, co-employees and clients can also become a big burden to sensitive people.  For some, it could result in out of control behavior such as shouting.

4 comments

1 Dina H. Loomis { 06.22.13 at 9:31 pm }

Civility works! When I became the Co-Ambassador of the Civility Ambassadors Program from July 2011-June 2012, it changed my life for the better.

I became more aware of other peoples’ needs and sensibilities and I learned to stay silent when other people are hurting. I am consciously expressing myself in a more subdued and gentle way, with my words and tone of voice.

It can be a struggle at first, but the rewards are immeasurable. Relationships are saved, reputations are preserved and mutual respect, restraint and responsibility will be observed by more people.

2 dvb-t { 07.01.13 at 7:02 am }

Wow, fantastic blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you made blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is wonderful, let alone the content!

3 Yasmin { 07.05.13 at 4:55 am }

Thank you for the kind comments.

4 Yasmin { 07.05.13 at 4:58 am }

Lovely to hear form you Dina. Thanks for sharing your comments. You made a difference as a leader in the Civility Counts Project. Thank you for your contribution. You are so righ, civility is hard work but the results are priceless.

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